Much More To Magnificence Than Just Motherhood

For you, Magnificent Woman–who is a creator whether or not you have kids, Mother’s Day.

I actually write about magnificent aunts and women without children in my book,

 “Hope Possible: A Network News Anchor’s Thoughts On Losing Her Job, Finding Love, A New Career, And My Dog, Always My Dog.”

 final front cover

And here is my column that ran this last week in The Atlanta Journal Constitution, The Dayton Daily News and other Cox Newspapers across the country.

You, who thinks you are not a mother.

Yeah, you.

I’m thinking about you on this Mother’s Day.

You, who are struggling to become a mother, who never imagined it would be so hard to get an egg and a sperm to have a conversation about making a new human.

You, who has known since you were seven and didn’t like playing with baby dolls that you didn’t want to dedicate your life to raising children.

You, who carries shattered heart grief and immense love every second of every day for your child who has died.

Yes, I’m thinking about you.

I’m thinking about this crazy thing we do in this society, putting women with children up on a pedestal and all the rest, well, no celebration for you.

Is the message that to mother is the only way to woman?

Years ago, my incredibly wise friend, Robbie, reframed my mind on this idea.

Years before I became a mother.

Long after I gave up hope that dream would come true for me.

“All women are creators,” she explained. “Look at how our bodies are shaped. We are vessels. We are physically shaped to create and incubate.”

And yes, she explained, some women are meant to create babies.

Thing is, that’s just one way a woman creates.

Some adopt.

That was my path into motherhood, making this, my third official Mother’s Day.

I’m pretty sure I’ll be celebrated.

Husband will corral the teens, drag them to the grocery store where they will pick out cards that aren’t too mushy.

I will tear up at any short note they scribble at the bottom.

I will revel in announcing I’m not cooking dinner.

And, I will squirm.

Yes, squirm.

Squirm for the woman I was most of my adult life.

Squirm for you, my sister.

You, who are not raising children.

You are no less a magnificent creator.

You, who have saved that pup from the shelter.

You, who dedicates yourself to promoting and empowering women where you work.

You, who have volunteered countless hours for that world-changing non-profit.

You, who are holding your heart and arms open for the children who are their way to you.

You, who keep your late children’s memory alive in your heart so strongly you can breathe in and still smell their precious scent.

You, who are caring for your elderly parents who were so much easier when you were the child and they were the adult.

You, who are available to be the world’s most magnificent aunt.

I scan the calendar.

I do not see your day.

So, I’m making it.

It is today.

I celebrate you, Magnificent Woman.

As the beautiful creator you are.

And what about you, Dear Reader?

Do you not know, love and adore a great woman who is this kind of creator?

Tell her.

Please.

Don’t wait for some day.

Tell her you’re thinking about her.

Celebrating her.

Tell her today is her day.

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Much More To Magnificence Than Just Motherhood

by DarynKagan time to read: 2 min
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