My Marriage Is Going Nowhere And I Couldn’t Be Happier

My marriage is going nowhere and that makes me so happy.

My marriage is going nowhere.

At least, that was the case this weekend.

This wasn’t our intention.

The plan, rather,

Last second, as it was,

Was pretty grand.

I had seen early Saturday morning that my favorite singer was in town for a concert.

The guy you pretend is singing to you.

Or, if that is kind of creepy because you’re old enough to be his mother,

That you would’ve been the girl he was in love with when you were in your late teens.

A fun fantasy,

Which, trust me,

Never happened in real life.

Husband spent the afternoon monitoring all the ticket websites,



For just the right price to grab the tickets.

“Splurge” territory was acceptable.

“Crazy Don’t Pay For Daughter’s Second Semester of College” was not.

As concert time got closer,

The prices dropped,

And dropped.

“They’re not quite where I want them to be,” Husband gave play-by-play.

They just needed to drop a little more and he would click, “Buy.”

“Almost there,” he said an hour before showtime.

“Wait. What’s this?” he refreshed his computer screen. “The prices are going up, not down!”

That’s the trajectory that continued.

“Can’t justify the cost,” he said, finally throwing in the towel.

“Well, this is disappointing,” Husband apologized. “We go from pulling off a spontaneous, fun evening to nothing.  It’s like a ‘non-date.’”

The pause button gave me space to survey the week we just had, traveling 500 miles each way to drop our daughter off at college for the first time.

And the next day which had not one, but two parties with friends on the calendar.

“I think those rising prices actually saved us from ourselves,” I countered. “We really didn’t need one more thing to do.”

Sometimes, a non-date is just what you need.

This isn’t a marriage thing either, Dear Reader.

Sometimes, not doing is the best do possible.

Going nowhere.

Oh, that I could tell you Husband and I spent that time focused on each other, staring into each other’s eyes.


We retreated to our respective zone out activities.

I surfed social media taking in images of perfect lives that are not and never will be mine.

Husband binge watched one of his survivor shows.

At least he can claim his time as productive.

If we ever find ourselves above the Arctic Circle with only comic book, a sweatshirt and wet book of matches, we will be good to go.

There was a time the non-date wouldn’t have made perfect sense.

I used to have what I called, “The Daryn Kagan Rule of Social Opportunity.”

If someone asks you to do something and you don’t have plans, then you have to go.

The idea being that anywhere is better than sitting on your couch.

This served me in my 20’s and 30’s.

Now, later in life,

That couch,

That non-date can be a pretty fantastic place to be.

In a marriage,

That this weekend, at least,

Was going nowhere.

Whoever dreamed a gal could be so lucky?

((Please catch my column each week in The Atlanta Journal Constitution, The Dayton Daily News and other Cox Newspapers across the country.)))

And if you enjoy this column, you might enjoy my book,

“Hope Possible: A Network News Anchor’s Thoughts On Losing Her Job, Finding Love, A New Career, And My Dog, Always My Dog.”

final front cover



My Marriage Is Going Nowhere And I Couldn’t Be Happier

by DarynKagan time to read: 2 min