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Today's blog entry comes courtesy of my mother, Phyllis, who shared with me a wonderful luncheon she went to over the weekend.
You could call it a "Gratitude Luncheon."
She knew I would love hearing about it because it touches on two things I hold near and dear to my heart: Expressing gratitude for what and who we have today and changing the way we women celebrate our lives.
My mom's lifelong friend, Dorene, was the hostess for this affair. Dorene, a woman after my own heart, was throwing her own party. I love a woman who knows how to do that. Wedding and baby showers are fabulous things to celebrate, but why do we single out those events as the only time we draw our best women together?
Raising the celebration bar was no easy feat in this case. See, Dorene is 74-years-old and battling stage 4 ovarian cancer.
Truth be told, I don't think a lot of the ladies who were invited understood why Dorene was going to all this trouble. Should she not be using every ounce of her energy to fight her disease? Why should someone so sick take time to entertain them?
Dorene would not be swayed. She knew what she wanted. She wanted to say, "Thank you."
Thank you to the women she had known through out her life. Thank you to her daughters for the joy they have brought her. Thank you to the support system that has helped her through this fight.
I talked to my mom the day before the luncheon. Like many of the ladies, I think she was a little nervous. What would she say? Would it be overwhelmingly sad day?
"Sad?" I questioned. "This sounds amazing! Please tell Dorene I so admire and salute her for throwing her party. She is using what little energy she has to make her own wish come true. You, Mom, and all the other ladies are part of that. You are making your lifelong friend's wish come true. You are a blessing on her world today. What better way to spend an afternoon!"
Looks like dear Dorene does indeed know how to throw a party. No sooner was it over then my mother was on the phone wanting to share. "I just spent the most amazing afternoon," she was bursting over the phone. "It was so joyful. We had so many laughs and so many wonderful tears."
She shared that the centerpiece of the afternoon was literally the centerpiece, a giant bouquet of roses. The young woman who is Dorene's dog walker brought the two dozen flowers and explained, "Each one of these roses is a different color and shape, just like the women who are in Dorene's life. I will put this pile of flowers on the table. One by one, each lady should take a rose; explain who they are, how they know Dorene, and what they love about her. Then place the rose in the vase at the center of the table."
Turns out, there were so many ladies and so much love in that room that some of the roses did double duty. Regardless, each woman took a turn. Some shared how they had known Dorene since elementary school. My mom didn't meet her until after high school, but she did have one of the more interesting connections. Dorene had been my father's high school girlfriend. Dad and Dorene stayed friends long after breaking up. When my parents started dating in their early '20's, my mom became friends with his crowd.
And so they went around the room, childhood friends all the way through the most recent additions, like the dog walker, took their turn sharing their favorite Dorene stories and saluting their beloved friend.
Then, they placed the rose in a vase in the middle of the living room. The growing bouquet represented the growing love for Dorene.
By the time the ladies were done, sides ached from laughing so much, make up was pretty messy from the tears, and all eyes rested on the bouquet. Uber-chic party planner Colin Cowie never created a finer centerpiece.
After lunch was over and the ladies were visiting, one of them looked over at Dorene. It was pretty clear she had spent her last ounce of energy for that day. There were hugs, goodbyes, and final glances at the birthday bouquet.
I bet Dorene is still gazing at that magnificent bunch all these days later. She can reflect on all the wonderful women she invited into her home and her life. And she can smile that she threw her own party, just the way she wanted it.
She won't have that long to linger on this weekend's memory. No, not because of what you might be thinking. Not because of the cancer that has rudely moved into just about every corner of her body.
No, Dorene can't linger on Saturday, because she's already set the date for her next party. It's planned for October. Ladies, get your roses ready.
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