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I was talking to my friend, Heidi, the other day (something that happens several times a week.) I was telling her about today's story, the one about kids clothing designer, Caren Cohen, and the way she's dedicated her company to helping women facing infertility.
"Oh, you have to blog about our shoe story!" Heidi suggested.
Ok, at Heidi's request here goes:
There are few people on this earth who wanted to be a mom more than my college roommate and dearest, wonderfulest friend, Heidi. And there are few people who had a harder time making a baby. Thermometers, Clomid, ultrasounds, in vitro-both fresh and frozen. You name it, Heidi and her husband Steve tried it, all in that longing hope of having a baby.
Since Heidi and I are so close, I went along for that roller coaster ride with her, hoping that each new thing tried would be THE thing that made the baby. This went on for about four years, when finally, Heidi had had enough. She broke up with all the needles and science experiments and Petri dishes. Her intuition told her that aside from all this baby stuff, she lived a pretty natural and organic lifestyle. No wonder all these unnatural substances she was forcing into her body weren't making a baby. It wasn't for her. So, at age 41, when she had about 5 more minutes to keep trying in vitro with her own eggs, Heidi walked away. The choice might not make much sense to some folks. Not much about this story does. It's about listening to your gut.
Instead of all the science and hormone injections, Heidi, went on a radical diet that included no processed foods, additives or preservatives. She added acupuncture. And perhaps, hardest of all, she worked really hard at trying to find peace and satisfaction with the blessings that were already in her life, rather than focusing on what wasn't there.
What do you know? For the first time ever, Heidi got pregnant! It would be nice if I could tell you that was the happy ending of this story. But, like I said, not much about this story makes sense. Somewhere in that first trimester, Heidi had a miscarriage. "Nature's way, for the best, blah blah blah…." Save those words. They are pretty much of no comfort to a woman who's lost the baby she longed for.
Understandably, Heidi was devastated. Turns out, this all coincided with a trip I was taking to the Bay Area. If nothing else, I could be there for my sweet and oh so sad friend. I also knew I had to do something else.
I had to go shopping.
Yes, shopping. This time, it was my gut that was talking to me. After I arrived at Heidi's and gave her a hug, I took a deep breath, and got ready to give her what I was so sure she was meant to have. I admit I was a little nervous, because most people could see the gift was a bit of a reach.
Heidi opened the package and inside found the tiniest pair of Nike sneakers.
This is the part where I was afraid to breathe. After all, who gives a pair of baby shoes to a woman who can't make a baby? Does it get more insensitive than that? So, I explained.
"I'm really going with my gut on this one. I know right now at this moment, you are devastated and spent. You've given your all trying to make your dream come true. And you have nothing left, even to believe that it might. Well, I do. I'm giving you these shoes because I know that you will be a mother. I know that your child is on his or her way to you. I can't tell you exactly where the baby is coming from. But they're on their way, and when they get here, they're going to need some shoes!"
I also explained that I understood it might be too painful for Heidi to keep the baby shoes around her house, so I offered to keep them at my house, if that made it better. She grabbed the shoes close to her chest and sobbed. She kept the shoes.
This is the part of the story when I do get to start passing out the smiles. About 10 months after that day, what do you know? Heidi and Steve had a healthy baby girl! Indeed, that is the back story on my namesake, Baby Daryn.
This child brought every ounce of joy we had all looked forward to. I actually forgot about the shoes. That is until about five months later, when Heidi brought Daryn to Atlanta for her first visit.
"I have a present for you," Heidi said, as she handed me a wrapped gift. Inside was one of the best photos ever. Heidi holding Baby Daryn who was wearing, you might've guessed it, The Shoes. Underneath the photo, Heidi had penciled in a single word.
It said, "Believe."
So, there you have it, "The Shoe Story." The moral, I guess, is go with your gut. And, oh yeah, go shopping.
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