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It was really important to me to get a blog entry up for the Christmas holiday. Because if you have time to surf the 'net and check in here, chances are you are not where you want to be or with the people you want to be with.
There's a good chance you're feeling alone.
Actually, you're not.
I understand the feeling because there have been way to many Christmases and holidays in general when I've had to work in a newsroom. It's part of what you sign up for when you pick the TV news gig. Working the holidays in a newsroom is a double whammy. Not only does it feel like you are stuck and missing out, the news world grinds to a halt, so time seems to go twice as slowly.
If you have time to check in here over the holiday, there's a good chance that you don't have the family around you that you wish you did. Maybe you don't have the significant other or the child you wishfor. It's possible that you feel "less than" the folks who are in the middle of big families right now.
Actually, you're not.
Don't get me wrong. It can be wonderful to spend Christmas in the middle of a big family. I've done both. Christmas with a zillion kids ripping open their gifts and Christmas when I'm all alone. Reporting from the front lines, I can tell you there are nice things to both. You get to decide.
It's pretty easy to look longingly at those who appear to have more than you. More family, more money, more parties, more love, more joy and feel like you are losing out.
Actually you're not.
I can tell you how some of the loneliest people I know live in the middle of all that. Talk about a tough climb out. What happens when you have all the trappings of what's supposed to make you happy and fill you up and you still aren't joyful? That's actually a blog for another day. Rather than make that case, I'm going to make a suggestion how you can turn off that aching feeling. It's something that works for me.
Stop looking forward.
Instead, look back.
Our jealous eyes seem to have an auto-focus lock on anyone who appears to have more than us. But if you take a second to look back at those who have less, you'll actually find a much bigger crowd. I promise you, while you're busy catering your "Pity Party For One," there are so many people who have less love, money, and opportunity than you do at this very moment. There are even many who are lonelier than you might be feeling this holiday season.
So, the sure fire technique for turning off the holidays blues? First, look back. The view from where you are just might be breathtaking. If nothing else, it will help you count your blessings for all that you have, rather than aching over what you don't.
Then, reach back. Yes, reach. It might be too late to volunteer at a shelter or visit a retirement home. But, it's not too late to invite someone to share dinner or even make a phone call. It might be to that friend who's stuck at home because of illness. It might even be to that person in the middle of the big family. Turns out, that person might be loneliest of all.
I always find this to be an instant cure for what ails me. It's kind of like a law of physics. I simply cannot reach back and look forward all at the same time. It's not physically possible, even for me, and I'm double-jointed! Whatever time I spend reaching back, is time that the mental swirl shuts off.
And no promises, but there's a chance you'll even get a bonus jolt of joy of in your heart. It will simply feel good to reach out and deliver some love and joy. Good enough for you, in that moment, at least, to ask yourself, "Am I really miserable or 'less than' this Christmas?"
Chances are you'll answer, "Actually, I'm not."
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