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I was driving home from running with some friends late last week listening to my favorite morning sports talk show, Mike and Mike In The Morning. The guys were tossing around the idea if you could trade lives with anyone in the world, who would that be.
With all due respect to his lovely wife and kids, host Mike Greenberg shared that he would love to be Tiger Woods. Thing is, I don't think he would really like to be Tiger Woods. Just like I don't think you want any of the things you think you want in your life.
"Oh, wait a second!" you might protest. "Daryn, you don't know how badly I want that job, car, baby, relationship, money, blah blah." I know the list is endless and you think you really want that fill in the blank thing.
Here's why I don't believe you: I don't think anybody really wants anything. What they really want is what they think that thing would feel like.
I developed my "you want the feeling, not the thing" theory not too long after I arrived at CNN as a sports anchor. I can assure you I really, really, really wanted this job. I worked 7 days a week for a year and a half just to get a chance like this.
Anyhow, not too long after I arrived at CNN and started in this dream job, one of the local Phoenix newspapers wrote a nice long article, one of those, "Local girl makes good," kind of pieces. It described how I was living the life, jetting from one sporting event to another, how I was getting all sorts of amazing opportunities at the worldwide news leader.
I read through that piece soaking up every detail. My first gut reaction after I was done reading was, "Sigh, I wish I could be her!" I immediately had to remind myself, "Oh yeah, I am her!" So, I recast my wish, "I wished I felt like what it should feel like to be her."
I imagined it should be an incredible high to have such a wonderful job, to have made it from local news to a network, to live out my dream of doing sports when not that many women were getting that opportunity. Instead, I felt lonely and unsure living in a new city, like a peon among all these more experienced broadcasters, wondering how I was ever going to climb the CNN ladder.
I thought of that moment when I was listening to Mike Greenberg. He probably thinks being Tiger Woods means feeling like you're always being on top of your game, having vast amounts of money, being in love with a gorgeous blonde wife and having a healthy baby girl to bounce on his knee. Sure sounds like a great gig, and there is a chance that it is. There's also a chance living with the expectation that you will always be perfect at your job and keeping up the appearances of a perfect personal might be a living hell. Point is, we don't know.
The idea also came to mind in watching today's story on Erik Weihenmayer. The famed blind mountain climber is the subject of a new documentary called, Blindsight. He and his team lead a group of Tibetan teenagers on an expedition through the Himalayans. The teens and their teacher, Sabriye Tenberken, also happen to be blind.
I wonder how many radio hosts would say, "I wish I could trade places with Erik Weihenmayer. I wish I could've gone blind to rare eye disease when I was 15." No, that probably doesn't make for great yukkity yuk morning radio.
But from doing a number of stories on Erik for this website, I imagine to be Erik Weihenmayer feels like being someone who is happy, who has found his purpose in life, who gets to live inspiration and inspire thousands of people around the world. Erik lives by the credo of The Adversity Advantage. He wrote a whole book about it. In Erik's world, without adversity, there is no greatness. He has become the man he is because of the challenges he has faced with his blindness. In Erik's world, he's won the lottery.
Who wouldn't sign up for that? It makes me wonder how different all of our wishes and desires would be if we wished for the feeling and let go the package it showed up in?
I know every time in my life I've mustered that courage to take that leap, life has surprised me with a gift 1000x bigger and better than I could've made up myself.
I'm wondering if you've experienced the same. I also wonder what happens when you take a moment to ask yourself about your current wish and separate it from the feeling you're hoping it will bring you?
Drop me a line: Daryn@DarynKagan.com.
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