I’m Parenting From Another Planet

Looks like I will be turning in my American passport. I’ve been informed I’m not of this country. Oh, it ratchets up from there. Apparently, I’m not even of this planet. The notice came via a look. A look from my kids. Perhaps, Dear Reader, you’ve gotten “The Look,” as well? It comes about the time you mention celebrities or movies that were part of the fabric of your youth. “This guy reminds me of Elton John,” I remarked the other

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My Terrible Singing Makes For One Lonely Couch

Talk about a potential movie moment gone bust! The “Woe is me” moment brought on, by all things, by the recent “Sound of Music” Sing-A-Long on TV. Did you happen to catch it, Dear Reader? Did you sing along? As Julie Andrews sings, “Let’s start at the very beginning….” Of coming across the movie on TV, of looking to my family and saying, “Yes, Family let’s sing!” Here’s the thing—I didn’t get as far as a “deer, a female deer,” before my family turned this

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Do Humiliating Mommy Moments Ever End?

In case you were wondering— The lady running around last weekend from one end of the metro area to the other in what can best be described as “Mom High Fashion of Shame.” Yeah, that was me. How shall I best describe my outfit? T shirt that I had slept in, so big it would still be loose on King Kong. Sweats from 1984, or thereabouts with stains and holes to match. Plastic Croc sandals. Uncombed hair half up in a clip.

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14 Wishes For My Daughter On Her 16th Birthday

Dearest Daughter, We met when you were 11. I married Daddy when you were 13. The judge made you and me legal with our adoption when you were 14. This parenting gig really does fly by in flash, so before you zoom out the door, on the occasion of your Sweet 16, here are 14 wishes from me to you: 1. I wish that you know how much joy you’ve given your two mothers. Both Mommy in heaven, and now

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My Tears Have A Clock Of Their Own; Yours, Too?

“Did you cry?” There you have the number one thing my daughter wanted to know, as she quizzed me like I was a guilty suspect and she was a top detective on CSI. Truth is, I can’t really blame her. As I’ve shared with you Dear Reader, since becoming a parent, I’ve become a crier. If you ask my kids, they will tell you that I cry at the most ridiculous times. I cried when one filled out a form

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Picking Kids Up At School-Things They Don’t Tell You In The Carpool Lane

    Beware the dark scary high-wire act of motherhood that no one tells you about.      Until now.      That’s my job, reporting from the frontlines of a daily occurrence that was something in my pre-motherhood days I actually looked forward to.          I’m talking about—      The school pick up.      Pre-mommy me thought this would be a daily highlight!      After all, the kids have been gone all day.      You missed them. They missed you. As they

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Parenthood: Becoming The Fool I Warn My Kids About

           You could’ve warned me.             I’m talking to you, Dear Reader, who has been in this parenting game longer than the few years I have.             Why did you not explain to me that becoming a parent is perfect blueprint for looking like a fool?             Why is it that the very thing I try to warn my kids NOT to do I end up doing myself.?             Usually, of course, right in front of their faces.             I

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Why I’m Not Qualified To Parent A Teenager

My daughter just might be ready to call the authorities. Yes, it’s possible she might turn me in. Indeed, I must face the facts. The evidence. The now undeniable truth—I’m unequipped to be a parent to a teenager. Unequipped as in technically unequipped. Technically, as in technology. Technology as in, Dear Reader, how do you parent a teen when you have no practical life experience with the technology that steers, informs, controls, and inspires a teen brain? Truth is, this

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Oh, Yes I Did! Told Teen Girls What I Thought Of Their Fashion Choices

Maybe I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I find that a less attractive option the older I get. There’s that. Maybe I just shouldn’t have looked. But who could miss it? My eyes popped out first. Couldn’t Believe What I Saw Two teenaged girls behind me waiting to check out in the grocery store wearing shorts. Shorts. What an understatement that was. Shorts. Too long a word to describe the length of the garments on these girls. Hoochie mama shorts.

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The Day I Wish All Moms Could Have

Please catch my newspaper column each week in the Atlanta Journal Constitution, the Dayton Daily News and other newspapers across Ohio.  Here’s this week’s column:     It seems unfair.      Really unfair.      It’s something so wonderful I wish all moms could have it.      And yet, only a small minority of us get to.      My fellow adoptive Moms, this is the column you could’ve written. That Sad Look         You know that sad look some people give when they see someone

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