Can I Stop Running After The One I Love?

Can we save them from dangerous choices?      I knew it was a dangerous thought as soon as it popped into head.      “What will I write about this week? Not much has happened.”      This is always, without fail, when something happens.      Something big. Trouble ahead      It was Sunday evening. The sun was setting, tucking in a quiet weekend. Husband down in the yard working out on his weight bench.      Pup by his side.      Until

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My Husband Said ‘No Dog On The Couch!’ And Then This Happened

You make the call about dog on the couch-Yes or No? I’ve started shopping for one of those DNA kits.      For my husband.      The need is rather urgent.      For it’s become rather obvious,      He is not the man I married.      You might remember THAT guy, Dear Reader. An unlikely marriage      The one who was such an animal-unlover that he seriously considered not marrying pet-crazy me.      The one who insisted we go to pre-marital

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Your Dog Doesn’t Love You Back Like You Love Her And Let’s Be Thankful For That

The fur was flying. With good reason. I caught a recent online segment of “Good Morning Britain.” Call it mindless internet surfing. I call it, “research.” For this column. Yeah, I’m going with that. Can you say this about your beloved dog? I’m watched this segment, shaking my head, thinking, “Did they really go there?” A commentator daring to say the unsayable. About a dog’s love. That he can’t. Your dog can’t love you back. At least not in the

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How My Dog Got Me A Husband And Yours Could, Too

My dog got me a husband by taking matters into her own paws The numbers didn’t add up.      Not to this dog lover.      86%.      That’s how many people say they would break up with someone who doesn’t like their dog. This would never be me      “How ridiculous,” I thought as I looked at the research from a dog walking company called, “Wag!”  “Who would even consider dating someone who didn’t like their dog?”      That’s about

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That Time My Husband Took Our Family Planning Into His Own Hands Without Consulting Me First

Because this is not the way I thought we would be expanding our family.  I would’ve told you our family was complete. Family Planning 101.  Husband, me, Two girls, now both away at college. And the cliché empty nest puppy. Husband apparently had other ideas. He took matters into his own hands this week, walking in the house with our new bundle of joy. The one I didn’t know we needed.  “I got us a robot!” he announced in th

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How My Naughty Dog And I Ruined What Was Left Of Facebook

Leave it to me to ruin Facebook. Granted, your high school frenemy’s unending photos of her perfect children, the Russians, and your Cousin Allen’s hysterical political posts made the first big push. I, now, have finished it off. With the help of my naughty dog. There was one wonderful, happy place left on the place that has become a social media cesspool. Was, being the key word. Not long after Husband and I adopted our crazy blue tick coonhound-beagle-dachshund mutt,

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Why You Should Hire My Dog As Your Next Commencement Speaker

An opportunity has been missed. In this Graduation Season I see a long list of celebrities, politicians, and business giants asked to give commencement speeches. I watch. Looking to be impressed. Instead, I’m left with the feeling that once you get past the famous name, there’s often something missing. The feeling that, well, My dog could do better. So, graduates of the Class of 2018, let me fill in the blanks where perhaps your commencement speaker left you wanting. I

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About That Time My Puppy Threatened To Flunk Obedience School

It’s that performance anxiety dream. The one where you’re in class and you haven’t done all the work. You’re not going to graduate. You’ll be the laughing stock of the class. You’ve had that dream, Dear Reader? The good part is when you wake up realizing this was just a dream. Everything is fine. Oh, were it so. That was no dream. That was my real life. My real puppy. The real final exam at puppy obedience school. I apologize

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