My Marriage Is Going Nowhere And I Couldn’t Be Happier

My marriage is going nowhere. At least, that was the case this weekend. This wasn’t our intention. The plan, rather, Last second, as it was, Was pretty grand. I had seen early Saturday morning that my favorite singer was in town for a concert. The guy you pretend is singing to you. Or, if that is kind of creepy because you’re old enough to be his mother, That you would’ve been the girl he was in love with when you

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The Alligator And Canoe It Took To Finally Legalize Our Marriage

It’s possible our marriage wasn’t even legal. It’s not like my husband and I were in a crazy hurry to get married. We dated for two years. Carefully read and answered a book with 276 pre-marital questions. And yet, somehow we got hitched without what Husband said he would never do. “We can’t get married without going on a canoe trip,” he declared sometime during dating. We would have to see how we would do paddling a canoe. Together. Do

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Something Smells Funny In My Marriage

Something smells funny in my marriage. And by something, I mean someone. And by someone, I mean my husband. He doesn’t smell bad. Rather, wonderful, I must say. But he smells funny, as in his sense of smell. He smells everything. I interrupt our upcoming fourth wedding anniversary to ask, “Why didn’t you mention this before I got married?” Of all the things we were supposed to figure out if we’re compatible—religion, politics, money, raising kids, health. No one mentioned

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The Six Words Guaranteed To Unfix My Marriage

Watch out what you wish for. I realize now. I went into the new year hoping for doors to open. Surely, I didn’t realize I had to more specific. As in professional doors. Because doors are opening alright. All around me. There’s my car door which won’t stay shut. Our dishwasher broke its seal. It won’t close. Upside is the secret fun watching teenagers learn to wash dinner dishes by hand. And finally, the shower door won’t close. Which leads

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My Happy Marriage That Surely Will Not Last

Of all the punch lines I never planned on, this must surely be it. Somehow, I, out of all people, wake up today on the third anniversary of being married to a perfectly imperfect man. A man with more quirks than a roomful of brilliant physicists. After all, what could be quirkier than a man who loves me and treats me with such kindness and respect? Yeah, me. The forever-single gal who must’ve dated every non-commital man in America. Yeah,

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Marriage Teaches Me Something I Should’ve Known About Love

I gave a little prayer of thanks this morning as I walked my dog in the still morning dark. Thanks that my husband made it home last night. Was he gone on a business trip? No. Pushing limits on a drunken bender? Oh, that’s a funny one, if you knew him. So was he somewhere I should’ve been worried about? Not at all. He was, Are you ready for this? At his first baseball game of the season. Every Spring

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Is Husband’s Surprise A Good Thing?

To be surprised? Or not surprised? That is the marital question I need your help with this week, Dear Reader. I’ve shared in previous columns my husband’s rather quirky, geeky hobby. Crazy, mad genius obsession, might be a better description. Husband collects frequent flyer miles without flying. Millions of them. It’s all the way we spend our money: mortgage, power bill, grocery store, clothes. No dollar goes out the door without generating miles. Make that multiples of miles. We live

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When Divorce Means Losing Your Friend’s Spouse

I got a divorce this week. Thank goodness, no. Not my husband and I. I think he would agree that were going pretty darned strong as we cross into our third year of marriage. Still, I got a divorce. A friend of mine let me know she and her husband made their split official. Signed the papers. Done. Over. And so I mean I got a divorce, Dear Reader, in the way I know you have, too. In that divorce

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Change Your Name When You Marry? Your Take!

Well, hello there, brides and wives! Looks like my column from a couple of weeks ago where I shared my choice not to change my name when I married has touched a nerve.  The responses have been pouring in. There’s no way I could print all of them, so here are a few. Tammie Morris represents the majority of women I heard from who chose to take her husband’s last name and make her maiden name her middle name. She

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When Marriage Means Learning To Love The Ugly

Please catch my newspaper column each week in the Atlanta Journal Constitution, the Dayton Daily News and other newspapers across Ohio.  Here’s this week’s column: I did something this week I swore I would never do, managing to break not one, but two vows in the process. And it’s all part of the journey I share with you on a regular basis—what many of you have figured out before me—compromises you make as a wife and mother. For this broken vow story, you and

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