Ep 20: Done Being Single? Late Bloomers Are Finding Love
Dating after 40 and being single can feel exhausting in modern dating culture. On Call Me Friend, Daryn Kagan talks with dating coach Treva Brandon Scharf about dating burnout and finding love later in life without losing yourself.
Treva shares her late-bloomer love story, why being single does not mean something is wrong with you, and how releasing pressure can actually create space for real connection. Together, they unpack how modern dating apps have changed relationships, why conviction matters more than confidence, and how “settling on” someone can be a powerful and intentional choice.
This episode also introduces a new segment, Asking for a Friend, where a listener navigating dating after 40 asks how to stay hopeful when the future feels uncertain. Treva’s advice reframes dating burnout, self-worth, and timing in a way that feels grounding, realistic, and deeply reassuring.
If you are single, burned out from dating apps, or wondering whether finding love later in life is still possible, this conversation will remind you that where you are now is not where you will always be.
In This Episode, You Will Learn
✅ Why being single is not a personal failure
✅ How releasing pressure can actually open the door to love
✅ What “settling on” someone really means and why it can be powerful
✅ Why conviction matters more than confidence or chemistry
✅ How dating apps are fueling burnout and how to date with intention
✅ Why love rarely looks the way we expect it to
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Timestamps:
- 00:00 Why being single does not mean you are broken
- 06:30 The truth about timing, panic, and the biological clock
- 10:00 Letting go of the death grip and meeting love unexpectedly
- 17:40 Why desperation changes your picker
- 23:20 Conviction versus confidence in dating
- 28:00 Redefining “settling” as a decisive choice
- 30:00 Asking for a Friend segment begins
- 39:50 When love and family look different than you imagined
Key Takeaways
🔹 Being single is a season, not a verdict
🔹 You cannot force love, but you can create opportunity
🔹 Dating success starts with self-belief, not perfection
🔹 Surrender is not giving up, it is trusting the process
Guest Bio
Treva Brandon Scharf is a certified dating, relationship, and life coach and the author of Done Being Single. A self-described late bloomer, Treva spent decades dating before finding lasting love and now helps others navigate modern dating with clarity, accountability, and self-trust.
Resources
- Done Being Single: A Late Bloomer’s Guide to Love by Treva Brandon Scharf https://amzn.to/4tfyWP0
- Treva Brandon Scharf Website: https://trevabrandonscharf.com/
- “Hope Possible” https://amzn.to/46uNoJ9
- Powered by Ms Lou’s Cabin- https://www.airbnb.com/h/mslouscabin
- Sign up for our newsletter: https://darynkagan.substack.com/
