Are Black Jelly Beans The Sweetest, Most Divisive Candy In America?
Where do you stand on black jelly beans?
You’re either going to be with me,
Or vehemently, “Get out of my house now!” against me on this one.
In this divisive era,
Where Republicans and Democrats can’t govern,
When Easter and Passover fell on the same weekend,
Where there is only one way to feel about the New England Patriots,
I have found a topic more divisive.
How could something so little,
So innocent,
So sweet,
Cause such inflamed feelings?
“Are you more likely to run screaming out of the grocery store more likely to chew on a dirty cigarette butt from the sidewalk than partake in my black jelly bean stash?”
I stumbled onto this sitting on the shelf of my local grocery store.
I went to pick up a few things for Easter brunch.
I easily passed on the chocolate bunnies,
The marshmallow Peeps,
They make me think of my late mother.
She loved Peeps.
My fondness for Peeps ends there.
I gave just a passing glance to the traditional jelly beans.
The useless white, purple and pink ones make that an easy pass.
I was about to push my buggy away,
When I spotted them.
I swear I heard violins playing in the background as I twisted my neck to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing.
A bag made entirely of black jelly beans.
Oh, sweet love.
“How can I leave you behind?” I declared as a reached down.
I know how it is, Dear Reader, as I repeat those incredible three words.
Black jelly beans.
Do you love black jelly beans or hate them?
This is the moment you’re either with me, shoving your hand forward, “Yes, please!”
Or,
Running screaming out of the grocery store more likely to chew on a dirty cigarette butt from the sidewalk than partake in my black jelly bean stash.
That of course has me wondering how you cannot love the mix of sharp, interesting licorice with the sweetness of the sugar and gooey of the jelly bean?
There can only be one answer.
There’s no way to really know what something tastes like in someone else’s mouth.
Just as I don’t know what something looks like through someone else’s eyes.
That happy dance I was doing in the middle of the store while hugging the bag of black jelly beans?
You might’ve gotten my joy,
Or called for help.
So, for you,
You, who also have this undeclared love for black jelly beans,
You have found your people in me.
What a sad boring world this would be if we all showed up as the same flavor.
And you,
You, who can barely get through this column with the mere idea of shiny black licorice orbs getting anywhere close to your tongue,
You who taste the world differently than I do,
You who see the world through different eyes than mine,
You celebrate different holidays than I do,
You who vote differently than I do,
I celebrate you.
For while I delight in a bag singularly flavored jelly beans,
What a sad boring world this would be if we all showed up as the same flavor.
That is one thing I’m hoping you and I can agree upon.
How truly sweet that would be.
And then, there is you.
You, who get a little tear in your eye, because black jelly beans remind you of someone you love very much.
I’d love to hear about them.
And you.
And what you really think of the most delicious candy in America. Please weigh in with the Comments section below.
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