Four Reasons I’m Against Gay Marriage
-I’m against gay marriage, because to me, there is no such thing. It is simply, er, marriage.
-I’m against gay marriage, because I would never want to be married to a gay man. I imagine our love life wouldn’t be all that great. Oh, and I’m already married. To a straight man. A wonderful straight man. There’s that.
-I’m against the gay marriage ban. Oh, that’s it. That’s what I’m really against. Gay marriage bans, which of course, are only selective marriage bans. I live in one of the final four states to hold onto an all out marriage ban, which is a wonderful thing because that’s going to be one amazing party when it’s lifted. How boring to be in the 18th or 34th state.
-The picture above says it all. There is only one man in this picture whom I would want to be married to. That hunky guy on my left. The rest of them? Not a chance. However, even though I don’t want to be married to them, doesn’t mean I’m not thrilled they are married to someone else.
There’s Roger & Mark, together 10 years. Married 2 years.
There’s Craig & Michael. Together 20 years. Married 10.
Craig & Michael actually introduced me to my husband and worked their magic to get him to ask me out. Thank goodness for friends who knew I wasn’t going to see my way out of 47-years of single-hood without some intervention. (Which answers the question single women across America have been asked, “How you ever going to find someone if you’re just hanging out with your gay boyfriends?”)
So let it be said, that my marriage is not threatened by these men being married to each other. It was created and inspired and now supported by them.
We love you guys. Thank you for being the kind of people who pour your energy into creating a new marriage rather than seeing it as an exclusive club where yours only counts if others don’t get to get in.
-Oh, the fourth reason I’m against gay marriage.
My sister and her wife. Couple years ago, after being together 10 years, they went and eloped in Canada. Eloped! How can I support a marriage where I didn’t get to eat wedding cake?! It’s all about the cake, right? The part how they are the love of their lives, have created a loving wonderful family, support each other to the moon and back? Eh. Cake. I want cake.
Here’s hoping that other Kagan (Justice Elena—no relation, btw) and at least four other justices see the light when they hand down their historic decision later this year.
(This post was written in January 2015, months before the US Supreme Court’s historic, awesome decision.)