My Shameful, Embarrassing Thanksgiving Behavior

My embarrassing shameful Thanksgiving behavior

I am a little ashamed.



     This is the time to share this year’s Thanksgiving tale.

     One that does not shine a positive light on me,


     One I am compelled to share.

     As the calendar turns from October to November,

     From Halloween candy to Thanksgiving feast planning,

     My alert button goes on.

     My hunt begins.

     For the one item that alone will define my Thanksgiving success.

     The planning must be precise.

I go on a one-woman mission to find turkey butter.

This prized Keller's Turkey Butter. 4 oz. of cream inspiring my embarrassing Thanksgiving behavior.
This prized Keller’s Turkey Butter. 4 oz. of cream inspiring my embarrassing Thanksgiving behavior.

     To the normal person, this might appear to be not such a big deal.

     To, me, it is everything.

     There’s a dairy in Minnesota that makes a butter sculpture in the shape of a turkey.

     I’m not exactly sure what speaks to me about this,

     Maybe because my grandmother always made sure to have little foil chocolate turkeys for us kids on her table.

     Maybe the simple whimsy of it.

     Maybe the fact, that the actual butter is the most delicious I will taste all year.

I gotta have it.

     One grocery store in town that carries it.

     You have to hit it just right.

     Right day of shipment.

     This year, was golden.

     I walked in, ran over to the dairy case.

     There on the upper shelf were the small boxes carrying the prize.

     I really only needed one.

     I bought five.

Yes, that means someone was not going to find it when they arrived.

     Told you.

     Not my best self.

     Is it possible, Dear Reader, that you see a little bit of yourself in my turkey butter story?

     Amidst the warm, fuzzy feelings the holidays are meant to inspire is a trigger destined to make us not be our best selves?

     Your Uncle Frank who will stick it to you with a wildly in appropriate political comment.

     Your mother-in-law who will slip in a passive aggressive comment about your mashed potatoes.

     Or how your kids are dressed.

     You will say or do something that isn’t your best self.

     When it comes, calm yourself.

     Reassure yourself,

     It could’ve been worse.

Because it got worse.

I thought I put out a beautiful spread. This is only half of it.
I thought I put out a beautiful spread. This is only half of it.

Soon after we wrapped up Thanksgiving dinner Thursday night.

I did an inventory of the table looking for what “sold.”

Turkey, jalapeno cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, pies.

All gobbled up.

The one thing overflowing?

The basket of rolls.

“Probably because no one wanted to waste room on bread,” I thought for a moment. 

Until my gaze wandered to the space next to the bread basket.


After all that drama,

Two days of cooking,

Planning every dish around the piece de resistance,

I freakin’ forgot to put the turkey butter on the table!

It’s still tucked away safely, untouched in fridge.

I swear I can hear it laughing at me.

A new version of the turkey pardon.

My butter has been spared.

So much for the reason for the season.

It’s possible I need a little gratitude attitude realignment given my shameful behavior.

Meanwhile, anyone need a turkey butter for their Christmas table?

I know where you can get one real cheap.

Make me feel better–How did you mess up Thanksgiving? Please share in the comments below.

If you like this story, you might like my book,

“Hope Possible: A Network News Anchor’s Thoughts On Losing Her Job, Finding Love, A New Career, And My Dog, Always My Dog.”

final front cover



My Shameful, Embarrassing Thanksgiving Behavior

by DarynKagan time to read: 3 min